Page 214 - Appreciative Leadership

The Path of Integrity 187

Honesty Is the Best Policy

Honesty is more than simply saying what’s on your mind. It is about
holding fast to that which is good—all the while lovingly but directly
clearing away obstructions to that goodness. Why is honesty impor-
tant? It gives us a sense of wholeness, and it stimulates the free fl ow
of ideas and information. Dishonesty, by contrast, creates confusion,
guilt, and shame. It blocks connection and creativity, and it even com-
promises our health.
Think about a time when you’ve shared your thoughts and feelings

openly and completely, but kindly—perhaps even despite perceived
obstacles or concerns. Most likely, that experience has been accompa-
nied by a sense of relief and insight—perhaps even joy. Amy described
a time like this, when she told the truth to a former boss:

I had worked for him for only six months, but it had been the

worst six months of my career. Throughout our time together
I had felt questioned, criticized, and threatened. When he was

promoted and left, I at first felt relief; then my resentment started
to grow. Every time I’d see him, I’d feel angry and uncooperative—
even vengeful.
This was no way to live! Despite concerns that he might

somehow retaliate, I decided to tell the truth. I met with him
privately and directly shared my experience. I began by telling
him that working for him had been terribly diffi cult but that it
had taught me to look to myself for affirmation, rather than to

my boss. The words had barely left my mouth when he inter-

rupted me. “Oh boy,” I thought, “this is it!”
“Wait a minute,” he said. “You thought I was criticizing you

because I thought you weren’t good? That couldn’t have been
further from the truth! You’re one of the best employees I’ve ever
had; and it frustrated me that you weren’t living up to your full
potential.”