Page 216 - Appreciative Leadership

The Path of Integrity 189

from those by which they were raised. Take the son of the brigadier gen-
eral who becomes a conscientious objector, the daughter of an evangeli-
cal Christian who becomes Muslim, the son of a conservative politician
who announces he’s gay, or the daughter of a feminist who chooses to be
a stay-at-home mother. Choices to be true to ourselves—to be scrupu-
lously honest, despite the consequences—are easier to make when we
feel safe, secure, and supported.
Honesty is not just about what you say and do. It’s also about what you
don’t say and do. Lies of omission, as they are called, can be just as damag-
ing as those that are more direct. Take the leader who chooses to avoid
telling a coworker that her behavior makes it hard for him to share his
opinions. He is preventing her from seeing or understanding her impact
on others, perhaps predisposing her for failure in the organization.

Let’s face it: honesty may be the best policy, but it is often not the

easiest one. To be honest with others, we first need to be honest with
ourselves. This may mean facing up to something that is painful, scary,

or even threatening. But courageous honesty with ourselves helps us see
fully what is true; and from there, we can choose the path of goodness—

of integrity. Human history is filled with stories of people who have cho-
sen to step on the path of integrity. Being honest with themselves, they
said no to corruption or oppression, choosing instead to preserve or pro-
tect a people or tradition, or to work in service of the greater good.

Challenge yourself to even greater honesty over
PAUSE
the next few days. Practice by starting your
sentences with the word honestly. For example,
“Honestly, the job I really want is …” “Honestly, the way I feel
about this situation is …” “Honestly, what I think we need to
do is …” Try it and see how it feels. Does what you are say-
ing feel right in your gut? Do you believe what you are say-
ing? Watch how others respond. Are they surprised? Do they
value what you have to say?