Page 142 - Roy W. Rice - CEO Material How to Be a Leader in Any Organization-McGraw-Hill (2009)

You Fit In • 123

A client recalled a boss he had early in his career. “He had varying
levels of recognition that he’d give to people, starting with a positive
comment, then a handshake, then a high five, and finally, a bear hug.
I only got to the high five before I left for another job.”
To receive someone else’s touch, assume that it’s well intended.
Don’t act as if you’re being zapped by a stun gun, and don’t pull back—in
fact, lean into it, accept it, and reciprocate if you choose.
If you don’t want to be hugged or kissed, extend your handshaking
arm out farther and faster, step back, have a relaxed smile on your face,
and gently extend a stiff arm (meaning keep it outstretched). Don’t let
the person come into your space. If he or she catches you off guard once,
don’t let it happen again. If he or she persists, tell him or her, with a pleas-
antly assertive manner, “I like to handshake, not hug or kiss.” No expla-
nation is required.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
(CDC), germs can live on hands and surfaces such as door knobs, rail-
ings, and computer keyboards for up to two hours. Estimates show that
only one in three people wash their hands after using the bathroom.
Maybe that’s why the fist bump is in vogue.
Don’t ruffle someone’s hair, pat someone’s cheeks (either pair), rub
a pregnant woman’s belly, touch yourself (i.e., any part of your body
parts), or do unnecessary grooming gestures, such as when you nervously
straighten your tie, adjust your cuffs, tug at your belt, pull up your bra
strap, straighten your slip or pantyhose, or brush imaginary lint off your
clothes.
Leaders stand out. How else will people know who to follow? Being
visible means that you’re being watched, so make sure that the message
you send is the one you intend. But leaders also know to fit in—fit into
the expected persona of a leader.