Page 311 - Effective group discussion theory and practice by Adams, Katherine H. Brilhart, John K. Galanes, Gloria J

294 Chapter 11

him think he can do any better?” In this case, you have framed his disagreement as a
conflict. However, you could also have said, “I wonder why Vou disagrees. Maybe
there’s something in my proposal that I forgot to consider.” In this latter case, you
have framed his statement of disagreement as a possible attempt on Vou’s part to
improve and strengthen your proposal. Thus, perception defines a situation as
a conflict.
Perception of a situation is closely associated with emotions and behavior. To
illustrate, your feelings can range from mild distress to out-of-control rage, depend-
ing on how you perceive the situation. If you think Vou is a jerk for disagreeing with
you or believe he disagreed just to make you look bad in some way, you will feel
furious. Furthermore, you may be tempted to seek revenge or escalate the intensity
of the conflict. On the other hand, if you perceive Vou’s disagreement to be moti-
vated by a desire to strengthen your idea, then you may be only mildly hurt at his
criticism, or even pleased that he cared enough to give your idea such a careful read-
ing. In this latter case, you will behave cooperatively toward Vou and collaborate to
improve the proposal, not try to escalate the conflict. Thus, no perception of
conflict, no conflict.
Your perceptions, emotions, and behavior merge with the other person’s per-
ceptions, emotions, and behavior to form a feedback loop (see Figure 11.1) in your
group system. Remember, you can’t be in a conflict situation alone; your behaviors
affect other people, as theirs affect you. Changing one of the elements will

FIGURE 11.1
Perceptions,
emotions, behavior,
and interaction in a Other person’s
Your
conflict perception perception

Your Interaction Other person’s
behavior behavior

Your Other person’s
emotions emotions

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