Page 203 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

If the person who you are asking questions to gives you the

answers quickly without looking in various directions, it is

worth it to ask them more detailed questions, forcing them to

think. For example, “What color were the walls painted before

the last renovation?”, “What color are the walls in the

basement?”, or, “What if this hybrid of an elephant and tiger
somehow also gets crossed with a hamster? What would it

look like?” Play with these questions a little bit and have fun.

More detailed or abstract questions will force your interlocutor

to think deeply and will eventually cause eye movements.

When I decided to test this model with this set of questions

on a few people, it worked on five out of eight cases. I was

very positively surprised by the result. Now, watching people

as I ask them questions (no longer in the context of the

experiment, but simply during usual conversations) I often
notice how unconsciously their eyes “escape” when they are

looking for answers and it mostly sticks to what you see

above.

This little trick can also be useful:

When identifying whether a person thinks with
images, sounds or feelings, which allows for better

communication and building a good rapport. For

instance, by using language of the senses, “See, it’s

as clear as the summer sky!”

When referring to what someone said by using

gestures, e.g., “When you were relaxing on that

beautiful beach, did you…” and point with your hand

in the same direction or spot that person looked at

while recalling their holiday.