Page 139 - Effective Communication Soft Skills Strategies For Success by Nitin Bhatnagar, Mamta Bhatnagar

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Psychology and Communication | 127

has an effect on our feeling of worth, or our self-esteem, and also how we
can get the job done, because without some internal support for our activi-
ties, the outside work we do will remain undone. Much of the development
and maintenance of our self-concept is intimately related to our work, and
the roles we learn in the formal organizations we participate in. Much of
our sense of inner worth comes from performing the roles that the society
provides, and we always try to measure up to it. Inability to do so leads
to the loss of our self-esteem. Let us now look at how we build a sense of
self-esteem.
In the process of developing a self-image, we develop feelings about who
we think we are and also tend to look at other people for confirmation of
those feelings. And when we get that confirmation, we feel that we are enti-
tled to have that particular image of ourselves.
Self-esteem is the feeling we get when what we do matches our self-im-
age and when that particular image approximates an idealized version of
what we wish we were like. in the process, if we are confirmed by others, it
validates our feeling of our self-worth and self-esteem.

Self-concept and Patterns of Communication
A study of the verbal patterns of persons with low self-concept and high
self-concept shows some tendencies, which can be identified. Self-concept
may vary with situations of topics, and the relations of the others with whom
a person is communicating. The way people see themselves in relation to
others has a great effect on the changing patterns of communication.
The following are some verbal patterns, which may characterize low self-
concept:
• Frequent use of clichéd phrases or a few words which are used not so
much to help identify something in common with others as because
the person with low self-concept does not trust his or her ability to
be original.
• A need to talk about self in terms of criticism, weaknesses, and dif-
ficult experiences, which help explain why he or she is not in a better
state of mind.
− An inability to accept a praise gracefully, often expressed by a
superficially-worded disclaimer, which invites additional proof.

− Defensiveness about being blame to the degree that the person
may be more anxious about who gets credit or blamed in a project
than about actually getting the project accomplished.
− A cynical attitude towards accomplishment or possession of
others.

Bhatnagar_Chapter 06.indd 127 2011-06-23 7:56:44 PM
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