Page 106 - Fearless Leadership

Victim Mentality and Playing Small 93

HOW RESIGNATION CREEPS IN AND SHRINKS THE GAME

Playing small occurs when resignation sets in and you believe that the sta-
tus quo—people, circumstances, or the organization—is more fixed than
it actually is. Even the most competent and hard-working leaders become
resigned, although this is inconceivable to them. Resignation in strong
leaders is difficult to see because they continue to demonstrate a high level
of commitment and put in grueling hours. But it is what’s going on inside
of them that tells the real story.
When you become resigned, you reach an impasse where you are struck
with sudden doubts. You may be feigning enthusiasm, managing your
emotions instead of expressing them, or feeling yourself shut down and
becoming defensive and closed. You know you are resigned when the mere
absence of feeling discouraged is exhilarating.
If you are among those leaders who are brave troopers and shoulder the
burden by themselves, you will find it difficult to believe that you can
become resigned. There is an erroneous belief that “strong and tough lead-
ers do not become resigned.” This is inaccurate and fallacious. A high
degree of leaders are resigned to the point that it impacts their effective-
ness and the organization.
Let’s set the record straight. Resignation is not quitting or giving up; it
is not showing up. When you become resigned, you continue to work hard,
but your personal context shrinks, the game becomes smaller, and you lose
interest, heart, and enthusiasm. To the outside world, you are still highly
committed, but you feel the difference. When you become resigned, you
don’t look for choices anymore because you don’t believe they exist. You
feel that the future is fixed, and in your resignation, you become oblivi-
ous to the prison you have created.

Resignation is not giving up; it is not showing up.

Resignation happens gradually. It may be a single event or a series of
events that leads you to decide you cannot win, you cannot make a differ-
ence, your boss will never listen to you, or your company will never
change. Although your decision is unconscious, your behavior changes to
match your beliefs about what can or cannot be accomplished.