Page 108 - Fearless Leadership

Victim Mentality and Playing Small 95

Gunnar was unaware of two things: the fact that he was resigned
and how his resignation impacted Maureen’s group. Our group
worked with Gunnar and drilled down to the real problem. Gunnar
realized that he was uncomfortable talking about cutbacks and
downsizing; all he wanted to do was get the presentation over
with. What he failed to recognize was that he left the entire
group—both those staying and those who would be leaving—
devastated.

The Recovery. Gunnar went back to the product development
group and took accountability for his impact. He said, “The last
time I spoke to you, I did not communicate well. I was uncomfort-
able talking about downsizing and cutbacks. What I want is your
partnership to get through these tough times together so we can con-
tinue to build on the great results and performance that each of you
has delivered.” The group, including those who were leaving,
felt acknowledged for their contributions. They responded imme-
diately and generated ideas and solutions to ensure that the com-
pany survived.

Lesson Learned. When leaders are resigned, it is evident in their
speaking and behavior, and it cascades throughout the organiza-
tion. People mirror the mood and behaviors of leaders: resignation
breeds resignation.

As a leader, you set the course for everyone else. When you play small,
no one can play big. Your resignation not only inhibits your ability to
rise above circumstances, it stops everyone from being able to generate
solutions in difficult situations. Everyone pays the price; the esprit de
corps of the group is lost, and people resign and disengage.
You can create a larger context—a bigger game—in which people feel
they can influence change and shape the future. But you cannot do this
unless you ask yourself, “Where am I resigned?” Notice the question is
not if you are resigned. I want you to examine where you have become
discouraged or frustrated and where you have attempted to carry on in
spite of these feelings. When you are resigned, you cannot expand your