Page 223 - Fearless Leadership

210 FEARLESS LEADERSHIP

How a Leader Insists On Straight Talk from Her Group

We worked with Mei Li and her team on a major breakthrough proj-
ect. During a meeting, Sean, a team member, pulled Mei Li aside
and said, “I’d like to talk to you privately. I have a concern about how
you’re leading the meeting.” Mei Li said, “Great—I want to hear your
concern, but I would like you to share it with the entire group.” Sean
was confused and said, “I don’t want to put you on the spot.” “Hold
on,” said Mei Li, “we’re committed partners and we handle breakdowns
together. I’m not concerned about being put on the spot. I’m commit-
ted to being effective, and I need everyone to hear your coaching so we
can learn together.”

What Happened. Sean had recently joined the team and was new
to the concept of committed partnerships. But he relied on Mei Li’s
direction and gave her feedback in front of the group, saying, “We’re
missing important issues that need to be discussed. A couple of folks have
mentioned this already, but you don’t seem to be listening.” Mei Li—
a fearless leader—thanked Sean for his feedback and asked for addi-
tional input from the group which turned out to be quite similar.
Together the group reorganized the agenda to focus on the key issues.

Lesson Learned. Making private conversations public gives you
the ability to surface and resolve issues as a group that are getting in
the way of forward momentum.

Committed partners learn how to provide responsible feedback in the
moment when something occurs. Further, they learn how to listen to feed-
back from others and treat it as valuable coaching, rather than defaulting
to automatic behaviors of being defensive, embarrassed, or closed to
input. You save an enormous amount of time when you and others learn
shortcut methods for making private conversations public, in a safe and
responsible way.

Be Sensitive to Cultural Differences
There are important cultural differences that must be taken into consid-
eration when engaging in talking straight responsibly or making private
conversations public. In some cultures, people talk straight—irresponsi-