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164 It’s Not a Glass Ceiling, It’s a Sticky Floor

make each one of us a more effective communicator. His strategy is
based on two dimensions of behavior: assertiveness, which takes into
account how a person influences others (e.g., by asking questions or
making statements), while emotion covers how a person expresses
her feelings to others. He found that people generally have one of
four styles:

• The Driver: Someone who likes you to get to the point
quickly and doesn’t want to hear all the details.
• The Expressive: Someone who wants to be noticed and likes
to think out loud to generate new ideas.
• The Amiable: Someone who wants to get along and really
cares about the feelings of the entire team.
• The Analyst: Someone who wants to get it right, wants all
the facts before making a decision, and asks lots of
questions.

Usually you can identify a person’s preference of how he or she
wants to be spoken to by just watching that person interact with
others one-on-one or in a meeting. If a person seems to be down
to business and bottom line, the worst thing you can do is spend a
lot of time up front chatting or building rapport or giving too many
details. Avoid the small talk and get to the point. You want to come
well prepared for these situations and keep your conversation brief
and focused. For those who are more open and have a more collab-
orative style, you may want to ask them personal questions up front
or talk about their personal interests before jumping into the topic
you are discussing.
I have found that understanding these styles can be useful for
understanding the person I’m talking to and quickly assessing the
best way to get my point across to him or her. Knowing these per-
sonality types will help you to follow my golden rule: Do unto oth-