Page 183 - Free Yourself From

166 It’s Not a Glass Ceiling, It’s a Sticky Floor

soon as everyone is seated in the conference room, a colleague jumps
right in with her solution to the problem. Others are quick to sup-
port it but you’re skeptical—maybe you doubt that it’s the right fit
for your client or perhaps it somehow conflicts with your values. But
the momentum of the meeting makes you feel like it would be some-
how inappropriate to speak up as the naysayer. Later, when your
concerns start to pan out, you call a trusted colleague and confess
that you wish you had said something in that meeting and don’t know
why you didn’t.
Or consider this one: In team meetings, you often have ideas or
thoughts about a certain project that you’re sure would add value to
the discussion at hand. You wait for your boss to turn and ask for
your input, but he doesn’t, and you wind up leaving the meeting frus-
trated that you didn’t get to participate. Worse, later on you realize
that your boss or colleagues have made all sorts of assumptions about
what your opinions or interests are regarding that particular project.
And, they are not accurate.
Clearly you are a mouse who needs to learn to roar a little!
These two examples illustrate what happens when fear stops
us from speaking up when we really do have something to say.
Sometimes it’s rooted in a desire to avoid conflict or hurting some-
one’s feelings. Or it can be about risk aversion—the need to avoid
being wrong, criticized, or rejected. But silence isn’t the safe zone
many people think it is. Keeping quiet at the wrong time can make
a person seem weak or insecure. Difficult as it may be, at the end
of the day, people respect those who speak up to voice their views
or concerns.
Speaking up can be especially hard for women because so often
as girls we’re taught to value being liked, not to garner respect. As
adults, we don’t want to rock the boat so we defer. Or we speak
up near the end of the conversation when the best opportunity to