Page 202 - Free Yourself From

Asking for What You Want 185

5. Have a backup plan: No matter how good you are about
asking for what you want, there may be circumstances that
cause people to say no. So have a backup plan. Maybe your
request is for more money but the answer is . . . there is no
money. So, have another alternative. Consider asking for an
extra week of vacation, continuing education, a benefit
option, or flexibility in your job. That way you won’t walk
away from the conversation empty handed. Never put
yourself in a position where the response is a final no.

6. Use “What if”: If your boss says you need more visibility in
order to advance, then you can say, what if I take on the
United Way fund-raising campaign for the company or what
if I take a lead role on the transition team for the new
company integration? Involve your boss with the “what if”
and he or she will gain commitment to your request.

7. Be patient and flexible: If you don’t get a positive reply or
“yes” to your request the first time, don’t take it as a no or
not interested from the other person. Exercise patience and
give people the opportunity to think about your request.
They may need time to run it past someone else or they just
may be busy and need time to think about it.

8. Find your comfort zone: You may feel comfortable taking
the direct approach when asking for what you want and just
naturally make your request. That might be your style.
However, if you are not as confident in being direct, get
someone on your side before you do it. Ask them how they
would approach it or identify someone from the outside
who will support what you want.

9. Don’t expect others to know what you want: People can’t
always read our minds or see all the good work we do.