Page 197 - Free Yourself From

180 It’s Not a Glass Ceiling, It’s a Sticky Floor

found that this particular area is more difficult for women than it is
for men. And, it seems that much of what holds us back starts with
our own assumption, our particular internal voice, and our own sense
of self-worth. Here are some thoughts, common to many women,
that hold us back:

• Too risky: Sometimes we are fearful of what support or
advice we may receive. For example, say you are looking for
a promotion and decide to seek advice as well as support
from your mentor. And, in the process, you get a
recommendation to explore a job you are not interested
in—you really don’t want that job but your mentor insists
it’s perfect for you. What do you do? Risk losing your
mentor? Go for it and hope you don’t get it?
• Don’t want to be asking for personal favors: Have you
noticed that it is easier to ask for support or help for your
team than it is for yourself? We tend to avoid asking for
something we need because it may be perceived as asking
for special treatment or brown-nosing—being the teacher’s
pet. It may seem like we are asking for special favors and
we certainly don’t want to be seen as using that relationship
for our personal gain.
• Overly grateful: We are so grateful for what we have that
we don’t want to seem disingenuous or as though we don’t
appreciate what we have been given.
• Fear of rejection: We fear the “no” response and can take
it too personally. We think that we will lose something in
the relationship if we ask and are turned down.
• Making assumptions: We assume our boss thinks that Joe is
better than we are, or that this is all they will pay for this job,
or that the company won’t provide extra time off because
“it’s not the way they operate around here.” We don’t test
our assumptions and they stop us dead in our tracks.