Page 69 - The Language of Humour

56 ‘MY MOTHER-IN-LAW…’
teller? How do you—the tellee—respond to each? Compare your
reactions with others in your group.

(Two young females are talking at a bus stop)
‘So he walked over, right big I am, and he had tattoos up his arms
right, an anchor here and a microwave here.’
‘He didn’t’
‘He did. He said do you want a drink or do you want a kick up the
bum
with an open-toed sandal. I said get you Eamonn Andrews.’
‘You didn’t’
‘I did. I said I’ll have a pint of Babycham, some pork scratchings
and a yellow cherry and if I’m not here when you get back I’ll be in
t’toilet putting hide and heal on my love bites.’
‘You didn’t.’
‘I did.’…
‘So he puts down his banana fritter, he says Kelly-Marie Tunstall,
just because I have tattoos and a hairy navel button does not mean I do
not have the instincts of an English gentleman. Please believe me when
I say I will be happy to escort you to your abode of residence, asking
nothing in return but the chance of seeing you again.’
‘He didn’t’
‘No, he didn’t. He caught the bus and I had to pay for my own
lychees.’
Anne: Gosh, isn’t it sad to think there are
people in this world who are starving?
Dick: Yes… I suppose it is.
George: Still—if they didn’t breed like rabbits
there’d be more to go round.
Anne: Yes, that’s true.
Julian: Mind you, half of them die in
childbirth, so it must all even up in the
end, I suppose.
Anne: Oh dear… I do wish there was
something we could do to help.
Dick: Poor old Anne—just like Anne to get
het up about world problems on a
lovely day like this.