Page 106 - Using the Enneagram System to Identify and Grow Your Leadership Strengths and Achieve Maximum Success

Strive for Self-Mastery 83

Development Stretches for Fours

APPRECIATE THE ORDINARY Do a task that you find tedious, paying
attention to every aspect of it. Stay in the present moment while
doing the task, not thinking about anyone or anything else, and
find pleasure in it. Select a different mundane task each day and
follow these same directions. Learning to appreciate the present
will help you focus less on both the past and the future.

FIND ENJOYMENT IN OTHER PEOPLE’S POSITIVE QUALITIES AND
ACCOMPLISHMENTS A counterintuitive way to do this is to first
take genuine pleasure in your own positive attributes. Do not use
any caveats or “buts,” such as “I’m smart, but he’s smarter” or “I’m
empathic, but I spend too much time thinking about myself.” Sim-
ply enjoy who you are. Once you can do this, allow yourself to
appreciate other people’s qualities and achievements. Each day,
think positively about yourself, then select another person to think
positively about without making any comparisons to yourself.

MINIMIZE YOUR SELF-REFERENCING BEHAVIOR Self-referencing
behavior means that you tend to focus on yourself rather than on
other people—even if you are not aware of doing this—through
word choice, storytelling, and the sharing of intense experiences
and feelings. To challenge yourself every day, practice talking with
one person and really listening to him or her, making no verbal
references to yourself and not sharing any personal stories.

Enneagram Style Fives

Fives thirst for knowledge and use emotional
detachment as a way of keeping involvement with
others to a minimum.