Page 78 - Talane Miedaner - Coach Yourself to a New Career_ 7 Steps to Reinventing Your Professional Life (2010)

66 COACH YOURSELF TO A NEW CAREER

and learned how to control her temper. His boundary required
her to raise her own standards of conduct.

Benefits of Having Strong Boundaries

Most people don’t realize that they can greatly expand their bound-
aries, which will not only eliminate most of their professional
problems, but it will also have the added benefit of improving their
personal relationships as well. You will be much more attractive
to powerful and influential people if you have strong boundaries.

1. Setting bigger boundaries is well worth the effort because of
the rich rewards: people will respect you. We respect people
who have big boundaries, and we do not respect those who don’t
(those are the “doormats” we walk over). We are often tempted to
abuse those without boundaries. Perhaps this trait is part of the
survival-of-the-fittest concept—animals casting out the weak and
sick so the stronger members can thrive. As with other animals, we
humans can sense boundaries immediately. This ability is beneficial.
Often, after you install a new boundary, such as “People can’t
criticize me,” either you’ll be tested right away or no one will violate
it. Most people instinctively sense your new boundaries and don’t
go there; in this example, it’s likely no one will criticize you anymore
thanks to the powerful new aura that you’ll be projecting.
2. Only those with strong boundaries get promoted. We are
naturally attracted to the people we like and respect—the people
who have a sense of dignity and self-esteem. When you have strong
boundaries, it is easier to attract the right opportunity and get
promoted. Nobody respects or promotes a doormat. If you feel
you are being taken advantage of at work or are not being treated
properly, then you are missing some boundaries. Without them, it
is impossible to break through to the upper levels of management.
You don’t see people criticizing or making derogatory remarks
to the senior executives. It just isn’t done thanks to the huge
boundaries those executives have in place. The sooner you establish
bigger boundaries, the more likely you are to get promoted.