Page 22 - Communication in Organizations Basic Skills and Conversation Models

Listening skills 11

Encouraging gestures
The last aspect of nonverbal behaviour is called encouraging gestures. By nodding and
making supportive gestures with the hands and by avoiding nervous and distracting
movements, you can show your attention, which will stimulate the speaker to continue
talking.

Verbal following
The second ‘non’-selective way of showing interest is verbal following. This means that
the comments you make should be in line with what the speaker is saying and that you do
not start any new subjects. If you follow closely what the speaker is saying, the speaker
will be able to finish his train of thought. To understand the speaker fully, it is necessary
to put aside your own opinions and thoughts about the subject. In order to do so, you
should confine yourself to ‘minimal encouragers’.

Minimal encouragers
Minimal encouragers are short verbal reactions intended to stimulate the speaker to talk
by showing him that he is being listened to. Examples are: hemming (uh-huh), yes…yes,
and then?, go on, or even the repetition of one of the words in a questioning tone of
voice. These small utterances may not seem of great influence, but their stimulating
effect is of importance to the speaker (Greenspoon, 1955).
The skill of ‘attentive behaviour, listening’ is often considered easy. When the basic
attitude is to be attentive and interested in what people are saying, then this ‘attentive
behaviour’ won’t cause many problems. However, research has shown that even people
who consider themselves good listeners do not listen as well as they think they do. They
tend to start questioning too fast or they start reciting their own experiences before the
speaker has finished talking. Even more striking were the results that these ‘beginners’
mistakes’ proved to be more the rule than the exception to the rule. As it turned out, it
was not only necessary to teach the students appropriate listening behaviour, but also to
break certain bad listening habits which had been learnt in everyday life.
Besides the ‘non’-selective skills, you will also need to use selective listening skills in
most conversations.

Selective listening skills

What is selectivity in a conversation? Selectivity here is related to the fact that in your
reactions you give certain aspects of the speaker’s conversation more attention than
others. You can do that on purpose in order to find out more about the contents of the
subject or to get more involved in the feelings expressed. Another way is to give a certain
subject in the conversation more attention. We refer here to the example of Dinner Ltd.
When one is having a conversation with a client, one can pay attention either to the
different choices on the menu for a certain lunch or to the financial aspects. Selectivity