Page 63 - Getting to the Heart of High Performance

three seconds each. The most memorable moments are

almost always positive or negative, not neutral.

These mini-experiences include the brief social exchanges

that serve as the basic building blocks of your interperson-
al relationships. If you understand what happens at the
person-to-person level in these small moments, all of a
sudden you’re able to predict key aspects of what’s com-
ing as you deal with the people around you. Knowing how

to operate socially in these fleeting episodes also presents
a remarkable opportunity to influence events in a con-
structive direction.

The fact is, you can identify clear patterns in the small
moments you share with another person. The patterns are
wonderfully simple. They’re so easy to read. And they are
always present.

You just have to pay attention, plus form the habit of con-
sciously managing your part of the back-and-forth
between yourself and others. Once you learn what to look

The Heart of the Matter: Action-Reaction Behavior Cycles 47