Page 31 - Effective Communication Skills by Dalton Kehoe

more emotionally Àexible in adapting to new situations, including seeing the
upside of events, are seen as more effective managers. Ŷ
Suggested Reading

Ekman, Emotions Revealed.
Plutchik, The Psychology and Biology of Emotion.

Exercises

1. Try to describe your feelings accurately to yourself—and think before
you speak. Before launching into a thoughtless tirade about how you
feel, using vague labels like “mad” or “great,” try to describe how your
body feels, such as “I’m shaking like a leaf,” or “I feel all tied up in
knots.” These statements are more accurate and don’t leave the other
person wondering what’s really going on. Remember that you can be
feeling several emotions at once.

2. Identify reasons for your feelings—you and the other need to know
what triggered you in this situation. Be sure to anchor in the present,
speak directly, and avoid allness statements (e.g., “I’m always …” or
“You never …”). Don’t just blow off steam or collapse into tears; say
what you want the listener to do.

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