Page 63 - Effective communication Skills by Dale King
P. 63
1. Fact: What you inform about like statements, facts, or data.
2. Self-revealing: What you will reveal about yourself basically
information about the sender.
3. Relationship: What you think about them the information about
how you get along with others.
4. Appeal: What you want to make them do to influence others.
You won’t ever place the same emphasis on the four facets. The emphasis
could be understood and meant differently. If a wife were to tell her husband
that “the sugar bowl is empty” might not be about the fact that there isn’t any
sugar in the bowl but about trying to get her husband to fill the bowl.
To make communication more complex, receivers will have one of four
“ears”: appeal, self-revelation, relationship, or factual ear. If her husband has
a great relationship ear, he might understand the sentence to say “you aren’t
reliable because you forgot to refill the sugar bowl,” and he could come back
with: “Well you aren’t reliable either since you still haven’t fixed the kitchen
light.”
Does this conversation sound familiar to you? Things can unravel quickly if
we don’t hear each other.
The emphasis of both the receiver and sender could create a barrier that will
harm communication. We have to understand that the things we hear might
not be what they were trying to get us to understand.
Do you know which “ear” you have developed? Do you hear appeals in each
sentence? Do you feel questioned? Meaning you are listening with a
relationship “ear.”
You have to be aware of the four facets to be able to engage in healthy
communication. When you feel questioned, think back to the original
sentence and ponder about the four facets. Are there other ways the message
could have been interpreted? Focus on the face and use questions to figure
out if you understood what they were trying to tell you.
No Communication
What can you do if there isn’t any communication in the relationship?
Listening is the most important skill in communication. Positive, deep
