Page 64 - Effective communication Skills by Dale King

relationships are only created when we listen to each other. If there isn’t any

communication in the relationship, it could be that neither person is listening.
Each party might be trying to prove they are right or they might be
“listening” when doing other things. You can’t listen to someone if you are
doing other things.

There are some common mistakes that people make when listening:

1. Thinking or daydreaming about other things while others are
talking. Things as simple as thinking about your grocery list.

2. Thinking about what you should say next.

3. Judging what others are saying
4. Listening while having a certain outcome or goal in mind.

Active listening is a lot more than talking. It’s an art that requires true interest
in another, a curiosity instead of anticipation. Active listening can involve:

1. Involvement that is nonverbal – you show your attention.

2. Paying attention to whoever is speaking and not what is going on
in your head.

3. Not judging.

4. Being fine with silence.

To bring communication back to the relationship, try this exercise: The first
person is allowed to talk ten minutes about their day. The second person will
actively listen with true interest. The second person can ask questions to
clarify but shouldn’t interrupt completely.

If a silence happens, that is perfectly okay. Just take this time to relax.

After the ten minutes are up, the second person is allowed to talk for ten

minutes, too. The same listening rules apply to the first person. You will soon
see that ten minutes is an extremely long time to sit and listen.

You might be amazed at the number of things you can learn about one
another and how this simple exercise could add value to your communication
and relationship. Something as simple as doing this exercise just once each
week is a great way to practice active listening.