Page 65 - Effective communication Skills by Dale King

Here are more techniques that can help improve your communication in both

intimate and personal relationships:

Better Communication

A wonderful technique to improve communication in all relationships is
nonviolent communication. It’s based on the ability and willingness to
perceive and approach problems without judging. This is extremely important
because if you want someone to change, there will be resistance.

Using this technique is great when talking about a problem that has been on

your mind. Your partner is late for your dinner date and this makes you feel
disappointed and angry.

If you want a positive outcome, you can try the following steps:

1. Evaluation, Interpretation, and Observation

You have to first try communicating what you observe without interpreting or
labeling them. If you date has arrived late, it’s just that fact: they are late.

You might interpret that the date didn’t mean as much to them as it did for
you or something else might have been more important to them.

Instead of buying into how you interpret things, you could just say: “I noticed
you were late for our date.” This is an observation that is factual and doesn’t
need to be evaluated.

2. Thoughts and Feelings

You absolutely have to talk about your feelings. Arguments usually develop
from emotions that have been hidden. Be sure you understand emotions and

you can express them without judging.

Using the same example of the late date, you could say: “I feel annoyed.” Or
“I am bothered by this because I wonder if you really want to spend time with
me.”

3. Strategy and Needs

You have to know and be able to express your needs. By doing this, you give
your date a chance to figure out if you want to and can meet them. You might