Page 56 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

“STOP” button, it’s sometimes better to leave your room,

house or apartment before the anger explodes and the conflict

escalates. Then, you need just a few moments and some good

questions to ask yourself and the emotions will start to

evaporate. Working on a constructive dialogue, you can return

with a desire to talk in a calm manner and to solve the case in
a healthier, more efficient way.

Have you even wondered why, in a frenzy of anger, we have

such a huge need to throw unpleasant words at others and

simply make them feel bad? Why can pouring this anger and
psychological bullying be so pleasant?

Simply, we want them to become aware of the pain we think

they made us feel. We want to give these bad emotions back so

that they admit their mistake, submit and surrender. We want

them to finally change their behavior.

The problem is that when someone thinks they have

done something wrong, they will not have the opportunity

to empathize with your pain. They will allocate all of their

energy into defending themselves.

Therefore, there is no point in blaming others when we feel
bad. It makes no sense at all on a practical level of reason. If

we want to solve the matter constructively, we have to allow

that person to understand what is going on inside of us, how

we really feel. To express your anger wisely, it is worth it to

restrain yourself from throwing swear words, plates, cutlery

and photo frames.

When you accuse someone of something, the accused

person has two possible choices. To take your words

personally (which will make them feel hopeless and restrain