Page 53 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian
P. 53

Chapter 4:




                            How to Express Anger and



                                         Avoid Conflicts




                       W               rath and anger are both destructive and creative

                                       emotions.  They  can  motivate  us,  remove

                                       blindfolds  from  our  eyes  and  give  us  lots  of

                       strength when directed properly, but their destructive nature is

                       revealed whenever we suppress our feelings. How should we

                       express these emotions to use them for creation of a healthy
                       communication with other people, instead of sudden, chaotic

                       outbursts of anger?


                         In our Western society, it is normal to suppress wrath, anger

                       and  other  bad  emotions.  It  results  in  large  amounts  of

                       unleashed energy residing in us,  which sooner  or  later erupt

                       like a lethal volcano.

                         Surveys  conducted  by  Dr.  Robert  W.  Levenson  from  UC

                       Berkeley Institute of Psychology indicate that suppression of

                       emotional  expression  does  not  contribute  to  reduction  of

                       experienced emotional intensity, but rather overstimulates and
                       overloads  our  neural  systems.  This  leads  to  reduction  of

                                                            6
                       immunity and health problems . Suppressed emotions always
                       manage to find their way out eventually .
                                                                      7

                         To  understand  how  anger  works,  we  must  realize  the

                       difference between a stimulus and a cause. Every emotion is a

                       result of our thoughts. The cause of each emotional state lies
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