Page 50 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

negative comment judging that particular one or more likely,

the person wearing it. The words, “And what do you think, for

God’s sake?!” do not mean that you want to know other

persons’ opinions, you just want to show your own frustration.

Messages with double meaning, in which a told content differs

from the real speaker’s intentions, lower the level of trust of
adult interlocutors and won’t be understood by most children.

Because the building of a relationship without trust is not

possible, the more direct and straightforward your messages

are, the bigger the possibility that what you want to transmit

will be received properly and positively. Of course, by “direct”
I don’t mean harsh or explicit. Social correctness, emotional

intelligence, empathy and sensitivity have to be taken into

consideration.

So the eighth rule is to say directly what you want to
communicate.

Implementation of all of the above rules requires a

systematic practice and awareness. Some of the most basic

communication mistakes (for example: telling your children or

employees what they shouldn’t do instead of what they should

do or sending vague, bland messages devoid of any real
meaning) are so common that despite their dysfunctionality,

they are perceived as something “normal” by most people.

Fortunately, every ability can be trained and the best idea is to

focus on one of these obstacles/dysfunctionalities for a

minimum of one week. As soon as you see improvement, you
can proceed to another one and so on, until all the rules are

applied. The amount of misunderstandings and conflicts will

surely be greatly decreased.