Page 46 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

Because of different “mental filters”, it is not possible for

other people to always entirely understand what you mean or

“feel you” in the way you want them to.

They can understand you based on how they process what

you say, as well as how they feel and interpret it, according to
their own cognitive filters. If you can honestly and deeply

understand yourself (that can be the hard part), when you

know what exactly you want to communicate and you feel

yourself, then communicating your message to the other

person will be not only possible, but easy. Rule number four
is to remember to always take responsibility for yourself.

5. Is What You Say A “Mind Reading” Or A Description

of Measurable Facts?

- “I can see that you are sad!”

- (“No, you can just see tears in my eyes. I was cutting an
onion.”)

- “I know what you are going to say!”

- (“No, you don’t. You are just reminding yourself what I

said in a similar situation last time.”)

- “This picture tells me you were not very happy back
then.”

- (“No, pictures do not speak. You just interpret them this

way and then you put your interpretation on the picture.
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It is an attribution error (pictures are not able to speak)
and a projection bias (thinking that what we think about
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the reality is in fact identical with what our interlocutor
thinks).)”

Correct reading of mental processes is, in reality, very

difficult. Until today, psychology has never found unequivocal

solutions concerning things like reliable reading of body