Page 44 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

really understand this concept, which frustrates both the child

and their parent. Instead of throwing out vague words, specify

exactly what the matter is and make sure that it is possible to

perform a constructive action to have a concrete physical

result.

2. Is What You Say Precisely Formulated?

“Be nice!” “Behave!” “You better motivate yourself!” Can

you tell exactly what these sentences mean? No—they lack

precision and hence, can be understood in too many different

ways. In effect, it is almost a guarantee of an execution of your
message far from your expectations. For example: instead of

saying meaningless, “Be nice!”, tell your child precisely what

you are expecting, like, “Put the car on the shelf, where the

other toys are.” Rather than, “Behave yourself!”, say, “Speak

more quietly, please.”

Do not demand “motivation” from anyone, because it does

not provide any solutions and doesn’t point to anything in

particular. Instead, you could tell someone to straighten their

back up, speak louder and talk about a specific goal or

situation that makes them enthusiastic and excited. Anything
you say must be precisely formulated—that is rule number

two.

3. Is What You Say Positively Formulated?

Imagine that you ask someone if they’d like something to

drink or if they would like to have a coffee. The answer is
“no.” You propose a tea and the answer is the same.

- “Orange juice?”

- “No.”