Page 43 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

Chapter 3:

Eight Most Important

Questions You Should Ask

Yourself

A s we speak about having the right attitude, before

proceeding to the verbal communication tools, let’s

now reflect on the most important rules and the

essential knowledge about traits of an effective communicator:
emotional intelligence and the right approach to the process of

communication.

1. Is What You Say Possible to Realize?

Everything you say must be possible to realize—that is
the first rule. If not, then the verbal message cannot be done

and makes no sense. Let me explain. When you hear: “Forget

about the number 4,” or, “Don’t think about anything green,”

you are not able to do it, because the process of forgetting is

impossible (you can’t just forget about something in a second,

on demand, can you?). Such a command has exactly the
opposite effect—a person thinks more about what they are

supposed to forget and reinforces the information they wanted

to delete or behaviors they wanted to stop. Do you see the

pattern now? It is similar to common sandbox and playground

comments parents so often tell their children: “Be nice” (or

any other adjective). The verb “to be” is unworkable, because
it is impossible not “to be” when you’re alive. A child can’t