Page 47 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian
P. 47
language and in most cases, it is close to impossible in every
day communication and usual circumstances. The case
remains even after thorough CIA training, no matter what you
watch in your criminal-drama TV series. It is also estimated
that the majority of e-mail communication (or online chat
communication) is usually deformed, meaning that the
reception of a message by the receiver is usually different than
intention of its author. Have you ever gotten into an argument
because you didn’t include the smiley emoticon or omitted an
abbreviation (e.g. IMHO)?
Description of facts has an objective character and when you
treat your own judgement as an objective description of
reality, it often leads to many conflicts.
- “You look nervous!”
- “No, I am not…”
- “Don’t tell me you’re not! I can see you are!”
- “What’s your point? I just told you I’m not nervous.”
- “Why are you responding to me that way and raising
your voice? Why are you so nervous?!”
- “FOR GOD’S SAKE, I TOLD YOU ALREADY. I’M
NOT NERVOUS!!!”
- “STOP BEING SO ANGRY AND SHOUTING AT
ME!!!”
And so it escalates…
Remember the fifth rule of conscious communication—
always describe measurable facts instead of trying to read
minds.
6. Does What You Say Describe What You Feel Or Does
It Attack Your Interlocutor?
