Page 424 - Effective Communication Soft Skills Strategies For Success by Nitin Bhatnagar, Mamta Bhatnagar

412 | Model Question Papers

breach of discipline, whereas, for the student it may be yet another attempt to
prevent the bully from teasing him.
A pedagogue has every reason to expect the child to master language not only in its
proper context, but also from a personal sense, which would provide a common plat-
form for mutual understanding and respect. But a teacher while expecting a student to
learn an adult language with its system of personal senses should also try to understand
the personal sense of the learning will be facilitated if he can identify himself with
the child. Interpersonal conflicts in pedagogic communication arise mostly due to the
pedagogue’s lack of ability, or his lack of desire to understand and acknowledge the
student’s system of interpersonal senses.
b. The verbal aspects of assertive, aggressive, and non-assertive behaviour are outlined as
follows:

Non-assertive Assertive Aggressive
• Long, rambling statements • Statements that are brief, clear • Excess of ‘I’ statements
and to the point
• Fill in words (e.g. may be) • ‘I’ statements: ‘I’ would like • Boastfulness: ‘my’
• Frequent justifications • Distinctions between fact and • Threatening questions
opinion
• Apologies and permission • Suggestions not weighed with • Requests as instructions or
seekers advice threats
• Few ‘I’ statements • No ‘shoulds’ ‘o ughts’ • Heavily weighed advice in
the form of should and ought
• Self put-downs • Questions to find out the • Assumptions
(I am hopeless) thoughts, opinions and wants
of others
• Phrases that dismiss own • Constructive criticism without • Blame put on others
needs (for example, not blame or assumptions
important really)

c. Our words are only a fraction of, the message that we send. In fact, how we say those
words often matters more than the words themselves. It is required for each one of
us to have an assessment of how we sound like. The following questions proposed by
Kris Cole, may help one to understand what one sounds like, she suggests that people
should ask the following questions to themselves:
• Is your voice tone harsh, soft, sharp or neutral?
• Is your pitch high or low?
• Is your volume loud, quiet or in between?
• Is your inflexion rising, falling or sing-song?

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