Page 167 - Make Work Great

From Contributor to Advisor

ments of it. Perhaps you don’t fully understand the importance of
Mary’s weekly reports. Instead of asking a potentially leading ques-
tion, offer your tentative understanding along with openness to clari-
fi cation: “It sounds like the main purpose of the weekly reports is to
update the other members of the group. Do I have that right, or is
there more?”
• Ask questions about your conversation, not about the story. If the
other person seems to be digressing, you can certainly check whether
that’s true: “Can you help me here? I don’t want to lose you. We started
off talking about Mary’s progress, but we seem now to be deep in the
topic of company accounting processes. Are we still on track?” This
question is designed not to analyze the story but to check on the devel-
opment of your understanding. At the same time, it communicates
the importance you place on fully grasping what the person is telling
you. Pay close attention to the answer. What seems like a digression to
you may actually be the most important point: it may be the company
accounting processes that are creating Mary’s overload.

Your real goal is to have the other person agree that you under-
stand his or her perspective of the situation. Summarizing what you’ve
learned as the story draws to a close will help wrap up this part of
your investigation: “So Mary has either failed to write her weekly sum-
mary report or turned it in late for the past seven weeks. You’ve tried
addressing the issue with her privately, but she has been unwilling to
discuss it. You’ve also tried restating your expectations with the whole
group. Still, you have yet to see any change in Mary’s behavior, her
current report is two days late and counting, and you are growing ever
more frustrated. Do I have that about right?” Again, speak tentatively
and give the other person an opportunity to correct you. Try to capture
both the facts and the emotions involved. This is your last chance to
understand.

Discovering “If”
Next, you’re ready to move to the question of “if” your advice is being
solicited. This is as simple as asking, “Are you seeking my advice, or

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