Page 130 - How Great Leaders Build Abundant Organizations That Win

WHOM DO I TRAVEL WITH? (RELATIONSHIPS AND TEAMS [TH]AT WORK)

point as a leader to greet and engage people in conversation,
respond attentively to their bids, and encourage others to do
the same? Or are too many balls dropping out of play, mak-
ing the workplace feel cool and flat? Do people at all levels
understand the importance of simply making and respond-
ing to bids?

Listen and Self-Disclose

Once a relationship has been opened by a bid, two simple
skills help deepen the connection: good listening and appro-
priate self-disclosure. These are the skills that allow close
friendships to develop out of mere acquaintances. And close
friendships not only lead to more engagement and satisfac-
tion at work; they lead to a sense of meaning or abundance.
While we often think our best friends are people we have
a lot in common with, research suggests that proximity is
really the more important variable in who will become a
close friend. Our friends are more likely to be the people
who live next door than the people who live just a block
away, more likely to be people in our office than one build-
ing over, more likely to be people we sit next to in a class
than those across the room. Sure, among the 150 or so peo-
ple we interact with regularly we will often choose to get
closer to those who like the things we like or who see the
world as we see it, but in almost any group of 150 we can
find such people with a little effort.
In addition to good eye contact and an open posture,
many good listeners take the time to restate what they are
hearing to make sure they understand both the content and
the feelings involved. “Wait a minute; let me make sure
I understand. So you think . . . Am I understanding that

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