Page 132 - How Great Leaders Build Abundant Organizations That Win

WHOM DO I TRAVEL WITH? (RELATIONSHIPS AND TEAMS [TH]AT WORK)

Self-disclosure requires real self-awareness so one person
does not dominate conversations or throw work meetings
off track with too many personal stories. Everyone wants to
know what the leader thinks, but only to a point. A leader
who hijacks meetings with personal opinions, stories, or dra-
mas will soon be resented by those who have no choice but
to listen. Friendship is based on reciprocity, with roughly
equal amounts of talking and listening on both sides and
with roughly equal levels of self-disclosure. One relationship
expert recommends setting a goal of three genuine connec-
tions each day. What would happen to our experience of
personal abundance if we made a point to really connect in
an honest and meaningful way at least three times every day?
To what extent do people who work together in teams
or in your organization respectfully listen to each other at
both a factual and a feeling level? Do people feel heard? Are
leaders especially careful to listen, not just pontificate? Is it
safe to say what is really on one’s mind? Such an atmosphere
helps foster the good listening and appropriate self- disclosure
that fosters deeper friendships as well as healthy work
environments.

Navigate Proximity

So what happens to work while all this love is being passed
around? Fortunately for our pocketbooks, human beings
need more than symbiotic clinging to one another to be
happy. We not only want connection—sometimes we also
want to be left alone. Linguist Deborah Tannen reminds
us, “There is comfort in being understood and pain in the
impossibility of being understood completely. But there is
also comfort in being different—special and unique—and

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