Page 127 - How Great Leaders Build Abundant Organizations That Win

THE WHY OF WORK

Make and Respond to Bids

Irene felt lucky to land a job right out of college, even if it
meant a move to a new area. While Irene anticipated an
adjustment period, she was unprepared for the cool recep-
tion she received at her new job. She enjoyed her clients, but
the other employees seemed preoccupied and distant. The
secretary smiled vacantly and showed her the copy machine
but had little to say. Staff meetings consisted of the office
manager reading off policy changes or calendar events while
everyone listened in polite boredom. Irene resented being
expected to spend many uncompensated hours each week
completing paperwork as part of a new initiative, but when
she raised the issue in the staff meeting, the supervisor gave
everyone a lecture about budget cuts and how lucky they
were to have jobs. Irene needed the money, but she began to
wonder about the “lucky” part.
Whether we are new to a company or have worked there
for 20 years, the process of finding supportive relationships,
building good teams, or making “best friends” at work begins
with making and receiving “bids.” Relationship expert John
Gottman defines a bid as a request for attention. A bid might
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be a smile or a touch, simply looking someone in the eye,
saying hello, offering a compliment, sharing something per-
sonal, requesting help, or asking a question. In the world of
relationships, nothing happens until someone makes a bid.
At Irene’s company the art of bidding had apparently been
absorbed into the holes in the soundproofing tile: no one
had much interest in anyone else at work.
Equally important in the bidding process is the response
we get to our bids. If the other party does not respond by
paying attention to our bid in a positive way, the game stops,
like a ball that dies when a tennis serve is not returned.

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