Page 139 - How Great Leaders Build Abundant Organizations That Win

THE WHY OF WORK

understood. If you doubt this, think about an important
relationship in your life. Ask yourself what the other person
doesn’t really “get” about you. If this person were to really
listen to your thoughts and feelings on this topic, restate both
the content and the feelings until you agreed that he or she
had it right and had not missed anything important, would
you feel more willing to really try to listen to the other per-
son’s point of view as well? Chances are good that if someone
is just not listening to us, we can help the situation by really
listening to him or her first.
Leaders who practice participative management recognize
that participation does not always produce consensus. When
two employees disagree, a leader can invite each to restate the
other’s point of view until mutual understanding is reached.
The leader may then make a decision and move forward.
Dave learned this in working with a senior executive who
had laid out an agenda for his organization in correspon-
dence to Dave. Dave thought the executive had missed a
significant point and shared this with the executive. The exec-
utive expressed appreciation for the input but trusted his own
instincts. At first Dave felt ignored, but then he realized that
the executive had both listened to and understood Dave’s per-
spective. He just did not agree, and the call was his to make.
Dave gave his full support to the decision. Participative man-
agement does not mean that we get our way but that we have
been respected and heard. An executive once said, “I am put-
ting you on my team because you and I do not think alike. If
we both think alike, one of us is not necessary . . . and it won’t
be me! But when we go public, we go with one voice.”
Marriage researchers wired each partner up to equipment
for monitoring physiological signs of stress or relaxation and
then asked them to discuss a recent disagreement. In one

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