Page 175 - Using the Enneagram System to Identify and Grow Your Leadership Strengths and Achieve Maximum Success

150 What Type of Leader Are You?

Larry’s e-mail also communicates his displeasure with Joseph’s
behavior in subtle ways, such as referring to Joseph formally by
using his full name, while referring to others by first name only—
a more friendly and familiar way to mention or address people.
Larry’s e-mail would have been more productive and less of an
attack if he had done the following:

• Expressed his feelings with less strident and pointed words
• Used more simple and direct expressions of his feelings
• Sent the e-mail to Joseph only, with copies to Shirley, Marc,
and the other committee members, rather than sending it to
the entire group of 150
• Encouraged a respectful response from the intended recipient
(Joseph)

Larry could use this e-mail to examine his Enneagram language
patterns and rewrite it like this:

Dear Joseph,
In response to your e-mail raising several questions about
the project reunion, here are my thoughts. The issues are ones
that the planning committee, of which you are a part, has wres-
tled with for many months, and we are now at a point where
we need to move forward on what has already been decided by
the planning committee. Reopening these decisions will hinder
our progress and our ability to meet our deadlines.
All of us are entitled to our opinions—you as well as me—
and these are mine. I felt upset with your e-mail because of
all the hard work we have put into the planning of this event.
It would be unfortunate if Shirley and Marc felt that their
efforts as chairs of the reunion were, in effect, being called
into question at this point in time. Your suggestions may be
good ones; however, they have come too late in the process.
I would appreciate it if you raised any future concerns
only with the planning committee instead of sending an