Page 178 - Using the Enneagram System to Identify and Grow Your Leadership Strengths and Achieve Maximum Success

Become an Excellent Communicator 153

Finally, Threes need to provide an equal balance of constructive
and positive feedback. The latter builds relationships and lets peo-
ple know not only what they need to improve, but also what they
are already doing well.

Manage Conflict Constructively
Threes can get angry, particularly when obstacles to goal accom-
plishment arise—for example, work delays, the withdrawal of
resources, or someone’s poor performance. Threes also become
agitated when they have a great deal of work to do, perceive that
another person is wasting their time, or believe that they are not
receiving credit for work that they have done.
Threes may not express their distress directly, but may instead
burst forth with a rapid fire of questions aimed at eliciting the
facts or telling the other person what he or she has done wrong.
If the conflict does not get resolved quickly, Threes uncon-
sciously speed up their speech and sharpen their tone, and may
become brusque. At the same time, Threes are usually skilled at
resolving conflicts between other people. They sit down with the
parties involved, enable them to air their feelings (but not for
very long), and then use problem-solving techniques to achieve
a resolution.

Influence Others
Threes make it their job to know both the formal power structure
and the informal influence networks within the organization and
to develop relationships with the key individuals in both systems.
They rely on their competence, self-confidence, and well-honed
social skills to enlist others and influence them to take action.
Threes may find that some people in the organization resist
their influence because of these individuals’ past experiences with
or perceptions of the Three. For example, Threes may be perceived
as overly competitive, ambitious, abrupt, and too political. These
perceptions lessen the Three’s influence and heighten resistance
to his or her wishes.