Page 171 - Using the Enneagram System to Identify and Grow Your Leadership Strengths and Achieve Maximum Success

146 What Type of Leader Are You?

something negative for fear of hurting the recipient’s feelings or
harming the relationship.

Manage Conflict Constructively
Because Twos empathize well, they bring conflicts between others
to resolution easily, listening to both the rational and the emo-
tional issues involved and searching for common ground.
When Twos feel angry, they often keep their feelings to them-
selves, not wanting to get into direct conflict with others. This
allows them time to think through what they might want to say at
some later point. On occasion, however, deeply agitated Twos may
burst forth with expressions of resentment, particularly when they
feel that they are unappreciated or have been taken advantage of,
or when someone they care about is at risk. At these times, Twos
can be very direct, accusatory, and even harsh.
Twos are usually surprised when people become angry with
them. Because Twos try to please others—unless they dislike
someone—and perceive themselves as being sensitive and per-
ceptive, most Twos don’t expect other people to have many prob-
lems with them. Of course, this is not realistic, but it does mean
that many Twos are taken aback when they learn that someone is
upset with them.

Influence Others
Twos are usually socially and politically astute, influencing others
as much through their personality and relationships as through
their ideas or organizational roles. It is as if Twos have antennae
for what will enlist others and what will cause others to resist.
However, the Two’s preference for influencing behind the scenes
can be less powerful than direct influence and may also be inter-
preted as manipulative.

Using E-mail as a Developmental Stretch
While the first e-mail illustrates the most common communication
style of Twos, the second shows the typical language patterns of