Page 188 - Using the Enneagram System to Identify and Grow Your Leadership Strengths and Achieve Maximum Success

Become an Excellent Communicator 163

E-MAIL 4, FROM MARTIN TO SARAH

Hi Sarah,
Looking forward to it. I live and work in Southfield . . .
okay, so I live in my car . . . what’s the big deal? Just kidding.
I get off from work at about 5:00 p.m., so we could be fash-
ionably late.
Martin

E-MAIL 5, FROM MARTIN TO SARAH

Hi Sarah,
Well, I’ve got this new Blazer, and you know about my
trust issues already, so what the heck, I’ll pick you up. What’s
your address?
Martin

E-MAIL 6, FROM SARAH TO MARTIN

Hi!
I forgot about the privacy and autonomy issues involved!
Forgive me!!
Sarah

ANALYSIS This e-mail series illustrates several Five language pat-
terns: (1) expressing thoughts succinctly, (2) needing to preserve
autonomy and privacy, (3) being self-reflective (in a wry way), and
(4) engaging in moderate self-disclosure (the sharing of informa-
tion about self) when the Five knows someone well.
In e-mail 2, Martin immediately suggests that he pick up Sarah,
and he makes it clear in the subsequent e-mails that he wants to drive
(thus preserving his autonomy) and does not want to give Sarah his
address or have her pick him up (thus preserving his privacy). Mar-
tin’s self-reflection and self-disclosure can be read in e-mail 5 as he
explains why he prefers to pick her up (his “trust issues”).
Martin could use the following guidelines to work on his Five
language patterns: