Page 186 - Using the Enneagram System to Identify and Grow Your Leadership Strengths and Achieve Maximum Success
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Become an Excellent Communicator 161
Give Effective Feedback
Fives usually give feedback that is precise, concise, and clear. In
general, they are more likely to give negative than positive feed-
back, simply because they prefer to conserve their emotional
reserves for feedback that is essential to improving performance.
It can be helpful for Fives to allow others to express feelings as
well as thoughts, even if that makes them feel awkward or uncom-
fortable. Practice and success with allowing emotionality into the
feedback process also helps Fives develop their own emotional
capacity and become more comfortable with feelings in general.
Through body language, questions asked, and comments made,
feedback recipients can easily sense whether the feedback giver is
comfortable with feeling-level responses. Consequently, it is impor-
tant for Fives to encourage other people to discuss delicate issues
and vulnerabilities.
Manage Conflict Constructively
Fives are generally calm and methodical when managing conflict
because they understand that conflict is a natural and inevitable
part of organizational life. When they mediate conflict, Fives are
more interested in facts than in feelings, an approach that can be
an asset in some circumstances but a limitation in others.
When Fives become angry themselves—for example, when they
feel that their privacy has been violated, when they have trusted some-
one who proves unworthy, or when they feel overwhelmed by tasks
or situations that they didn’t expect or agree to—they are most likely
to withdraw. Although it may be obvious that something is awry, it
can also appear that nothing is disturbing them, as most Fives are well
practiced at saying little and controlling their facial expressions. Occa-
sionally, Fives do show their anger outwardly. When this happens,
they can be extremely direct, highly intense, and very passionate.
Influence Others
Most Fives prefer to keep to themselves, influencing others only
when the issues directly affect them. When they attempt to influ-