Page 71 - Talane Miedaner - Coach Yourself to a New Career_ 7 Steps to Reinventing Your Professional Life (2010)

STEP 2: IDENTIFY YOUR PERSONAL REQUIREMENTS 59

A bigger boundary than “No one may hit me” is “No one may
yell at me.” This is one step out from physical abuse to verbal
abuse. One step further from “People can’t yell at me” is “People
can’t make rude remarks or put-down comments about me.” And
then further still, “People can’t give me unsolicited criticism.” And
even further, “People can’t be angry or grumpy or argue with oth-
ers around me.”
You can set up any boundaries you wish. The bigger they are,
the better. You need much bigger boundaries than you realize. In
this exercise, you are going to specify ten boundaries you would
like to have. Here are some common examples to get you started:

People can’t violate my personal space.
People can’t yell at me.
People can’t give me unsolicited criticism.
People can’t argue or fight in my presence.
People can’t be crabby or grumpy around me.
People can’t interrupt me.
People can’t be late when meeting me.
People can’t make rude or derogatory remarks or jokes about me or
those around me.
People can’t gossip around me.
People can’t take advantage of me in any way.
People can’t make racial jokes in my presence.
People can’t waste my time.
People can’t use my things without my permission.
People can’t lie to me.
People can’t use foul language in my presence.
People can’t be mean to me.
People can’t ignore me.
People can’t smoke in my home or around me.
People can’t call me before nine A.M. or after nine P.M.
People can’t interrupt my private or quiet time.
People can’t give me work they should do themselves.
People can’t belittle me or dismiss my remarks or opinions.