Page 59 - Crucial Conversations

START WITH HEART 41

"How can I have a candid conversation with my husband
about being more dependable and avoid creating bad feel­
ings or wasting our time?"
It's interesting to watch what happens when people are pre­
sented with and questions after being stuck with Sucker's
Choices. Their faces become reflective, their eyes open wider,
and they begin to think. With surprising regularity , when people
are asked: "Is it possible that there's a way to accomplish both?"
they acknowledge that there very well may be.

Is there a way to tell your peer your real concerns and not insult
or offend him?
Is there a way to talk to your neighbors about their annoying
behavior and not come across as self-righteous or demanding?

Is there a way to talk with your loved one about how you're
spending money and not get into an argument?

IS THIS REAllY POSSIBLE?
Some people find this whole line of thinking comically unrealis­
tic. From their point of view, Sucker's Choices aren't false
dichotomies; they're merely a reflection of an unfortunate reality .

"You can't say something to the boss about our upcoming
move. It'll cost you your job."

T o these people we say: Remember Kevin? He, and almost every
other opinion leader we've ever studied, has what it takes to speak
up and maintain respect. Maybe you don't know what Kevin did or
what you need to do-but don't deny the existence of Kevin or peo­
ple i ke him. There is a third set of options out there that allows you
l
tu add meaning to the pool and build on the relationship.