Page 21 - Effective Communication Skills by Dalton Kehoe

Let’s look at the impacts of these types of unconscious decisions on our
communication in relationships. We simply couldn’t talk effectively
without the speed and
automaticity that the
cognitive unconscious
gives us; it allows us to
automatically invoke
the normal conversation
schema we discussed
in Lecture 3. We can
uncover word meanings © David Woolley/Digital Vision/Thinkstock.
with little hesitation
and read the meaning of
others’ nonverbal displays
as the words are being
spoken. But the cognitive From the time we are born, our cognitive
unconscious is gathering data and looking for
unconscious isn’t perfect, patterns to help us communicate.
and when it goes wrong,
it can go very wrong. If the external situation changes rapidly from positive
to negative, the part of the mind that presents us our ideas to smoothly read
situations so we can speak with con¿dence can suddenly turn against us.

Unlike ¿rst responder professionals, we are not deeply trained to handle

dif¿cult situations before they happen. This is, in fact, the entire reason for our
course—to become like ¿rst responder professionals in our communication

emergencies. By the time you ¿nish this course, you will have tools to do this. Ŷ
Suggested Reading
Aronson, Wilson, et al., Social Psychology.
Fine, A Mind of Its Own.

Gladwell, Blink.
Pentland, Honest Signals.
Restak, The Naked Brain.
Wilson, Strangers to Ourselves.

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