Page 68 - Effective Communication Skills by Dalton Kehoe

agreement on an appropriate solution. Finally, agree on a decision on who
will do what, when.

The problem-solving stage occurs late in the process and is less important in
many ways than the discussion itself. The rule in successful problem solving
is that 90 percent of the time spent should focus on developing a clear and
mutually shared de¿nition of the problem. Once that’s been done, solution

development and agreement can happen very quickly. Ŷ

Exercise

1. The appreciative approach to structured dialogue is also vital for dealing
with the tensions and potential for communication breakdown that
underlie any conversation we have with others from a different culture.
When others do things or say things that seem odd, wrong-headed,
or simply confusing, our natural reÀex is to jump into criticism and

control talk—which don’t help the situation much. The next time

you ¿nd yourself communicating with someone from a different
background, use appreciative thinking and structured dialogue to slow
down your judgments, create a connection, and build bridges of more
complete understanding.

Lecture 19: Compassionate Confrontation

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