Page 65 - Effective Communication Skills by Dalton Kehoe
P. 65
Suggested Reading
Lloyd, Developing Positive Assertiveness.
Exercises
1. Recall a dif¿cult situation where you didn’t get what you wanted. Write
in detail the conversation as you remember it. How were you both
framing your statements—in descriptive I-messages or in you-messages
(or fake I-messages, such as “I think you are an idiot”)? Recall the
moment when you asked for change and the other refused. What had
you said just before that moment? How did the refusal sound? What did
you say in response?
2. Now, rework the situation above on paper using the suggested tools.
See if you can invent more effective responses to substitute for what
you actually said. Anticipate how the other might respond to your new
approach. People almost always resist at ¿rst; so repeat as needed, and
use additional connectors if you feel you might need them. Rehearse
what you’ve written in front of a mirror until you’re comfortable with
the sound of your own words. You are practicing being present. If it’s
still appropriate, start a new conversation with that person, trying to
follow your new approach.
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