Page 62 - Effective Communication Skills by Dalton Kehoe

in that situation. ReÀecting expressed feelings back to the other can be truly

connective in situations where we are separated by differences.

Keep in mind the four don’ts of effective listening:
x Don’t give your opinion or advice until the other asks.

x Don’t interrupt to debate the other.
x Don’t tell the other what he or she should be thinking or feeling.

x Don’t use the other’s story as a take-off for your story. Ŷ

Suggested Reading

Kehoe, Communication in Everyday Life.

Exercises
Lecture 17: Focus on the Other—The Heart of Dialogue
1. Watch two people talk, ideally in complicated communication moments.
Give your full attention; listen behind their words to what they are really
talking about. Don’t intervene and comment; just watch to discover
whether they seem to be really paying attention and understanding each
other.

2. Now try active listening yourself. At ¿rst, it will seem awkward (we’re

talkers, after all!), but the more you do it, the more natural it will
become. You will also learn more about the people around you and grow
closer to them.

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