Page 59 - Effective Communication Skills by Dalton Kehoe
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his or her mind? Descriptive I-messages are more likely to be effective
because they are truthful, relevant, and clear. Practice communicating in
a dif¿cult situation in such a way that other people will still listen to you
and stay connected at some level. They won’t do that if you intrude into
their psychological space with your judgment.
2. Can you think of the last time you openly acknowledged someone else’s
feelings or actions in a dif¿cult situation? This is hard to do, because
in the midst of a struggle we are usually engaged in criticizing, not
acknowledging, the other. The next time that unexpected differences raise
their ugly head in a conversation, try I-messages of acknowledgement
instead of control talk. This is a form of meta-communication that can
reduce the intensity of the negative emotions being communicated
and shift the tone of the discussion away from competition to mutual
problem solving.
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