Page 147 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

2. Tell Stories and Use Metaphors

Not only are analogies a great tool in psycho-therapies, they

also prove very useful in everyday conversations. An accurate

story or metaphor is like a skeleton key to the mind of the
other person. It will be enough if you think about what

situation from your life is similar to the event which you and

your interlocutor were just talking about.

Then you just say, “It reminds me of a similar story…” or

“It is just as if it…” and you continue. It should usually

fascinate your interlocutors and stimulate their imagination.

3. Discover Your Interlocutor’s Beliefs and Values

Find out what is important to this person and what they

think about the world around them. It can be easily observed

during the first several minutes of talking, especially on more

serious life-related topics. For example, the other person may
start to express their opinions, beliefs, life philosophy and their

view on crucial things like relationships, health, money, career,

education, religion, politics (although that’s a topic you should

really avoid in your conversations), family, sports, et cetera.

On the foundation of this crucial knowledge you can build a
rapport, showing your interlocutor that you also have a similar

view (but this is not an entirely necessary step, especially

when your view is totally different—it would most probably

appear fake). It is enough to simply direct the conversation to

topics that are important to this person. Everyone likes to talk
about the important things in their lives. If you can change

the track of the conversation so you talk about topics

important and interesting both to you and your

interlocutor, you hit the bullseye. It’s usually possible, even