Page 166 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

colleague from work wanted to say “thank you” for

your help with his project and gave you a bottle of

premium bourbon or red wine. If someone said

“thank you” to me this way, I would be really happy,

but my cousin, for example, would be a bit

unfulfilled because his language is spending time
with people as a sign of appreciation, not giving

them gifts. He would probably think, “Well, nice, but

why don’t we just go out and you could buy me a

few beers at the pub instead of just giving me

something and walking away?” It’s just not his
language. If you want to be an effective

communicator, don’t show people appreciation in

your language, do it in their language, provided

you’ve known them long enough. My dear wife, for

example, likes being surprised very much. When I
buy her a present for a special occasion, she

appreciates it, but no matter how much love I give

her, she feels a little bit neglected when I don’t

positively surprise her once in a while (and that

doesn’t have to mean buying stuff, she just loves the
surprise factor and unpredictability showed in many

different ways). Don’t treat people the way you like

to be treated, treat them the way THEY want to be

treated. That’s a big rapport take-away to remember!

Leading

In addition to matching, the concept of rapport includes

leading.