Page 161 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

ashamed to show their devotion and how proud of it you were.

Believe me, it works just great (field tested).

Your conversation partner’s beliefs are nested in the deep

structures of the brain and their reflection has an immediate

effect on the physiology of the person with whom you are
communicating. Beliefs are shown when someone’s speech

starts from expressions such as: “I believe that…,” “It seems

to me that…,” “I’m sure…,” and not only because opinions

and views on the surrounding reality are expressed in very

different ways. It is important to know what that person thinks
about the topic.

Reaffirming your callers’ maps helps them open up to you,

which is the key to establishing lasting relationships. When

you talk with an acquaintance and you find out that, for

example, they believe social actions like helping children from

orphanages is something worth spending money on, you can
show them that you have a similar belief.

This is, of course, not about agreeing with everyone all the

time. An exchange of totally different beliefs may be a

beginning of a great discussion. Use this tool whenever you’ll
find it useful though.

Characteristic expressions. People often have regularly

repeated words and phrases in their linguistic repertoire. This

is related to the way in which mind encodes information.

These formulations might be, for example: “in fact,” “just,”

“exactly” or “absolutely.”

Catching up on such expressions and using them from time

to time will give your interlocutor’s subconscious a signal that

you speak their language. Just remember not to overdo it—